Extramarital Affairs and How They Happen

Written by Carl & Yolanda Bennett
brokenheart_500Extramarital affairs happen for many reasons; men and women make excuses for having them. One reason is that they say their mate is not fulfilling them. Here are some of the fulfillments some say are not being met: emotional, physical, financial, and sexual (this is the majority), but no matter what the reasoning is it does not excuse them for having an affair. Now I am about to hit you with something that may shock you, a lot of these affairs occur among Christians. The church is becoming a place where it is hard to distinguish the world from the church, sadly enough there is homosexuality, lesbianism, fornication, and adultery in the church.

Husbands and wives claim they are not satisfied with each other and desire to experience something more and will commit the act of adultery without regard to their mate. Here are a few biblical examples of adultery:

King David was not satisfied he wanted to experience more. When he gazed upon the nakedness of another mans wife, he let his flesh get the best of him. He lost control and could not restrain his flesh from having her (II Samuel 11: 1-4). The book of Hosea is another story of adultery: Gomer, the wife of Hosea committed the act of adultery, but God prevailed in that relationship.

The good news is that there is a way to avoid these temptations, which is to simply give your situation to God. Let him know how much you are struggling with your flesh and let him know that you do not desire to fulfill these lustily desires and also that you need him to help you. I find that God will give you exactly what you desire. Here is another way to avoid these temptations, tell your mate what you want. Your mate is not a mind reader, prayerfully; they will consent to fulfilling your desires.

If you are experiencing these types of issues in your marriage, this is the time to reevaluate yourself. Please do not jeopardize or end your marriage without first doing a self-inventory. There are many ways to bring this under control; communication is a good place to start with. I ask that you be concerned about the your mate. Focusing on their needs especially the ones that you are not meeting. Talk to your mate instead of a friend, if you truly love each other, I believe the majority of your problems can be worked out. Let's take a moment to reflect back to the vow that you made to your mate and to God when you were married. Realize what a marriage truly is; Marriage is a covenant.

When you said your marriage vows to your mate, you were actually committing to performing them unconditionally, it should not been based upon whether your mate is living up to their words, YOU do the right thing. Are you abiding within the marriage covenant?

Here are five things a covenant marriage can be defined as:
  • A Covenant marriage is initiated for the benefit of one's spouse
  • A Covenant marriage requires unconditional promises
  • A Covenant marriage is based on steadfast love
  • A Covenant marriage views a commitment as permanent
  • A Covenant marriage requires confronting and forgiving