OneFleshMinistry.org - Extramarital Affairs and How They Happen (2)

Extramarital Affairs and How They Happen (2)

Written by Carl & Yolanda Bennett
brokenheart_500If we remember that a covenant marriage is not give and take, we all will have a relationship like some of the people in the Bible had. Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as he loved himself. Ruth made a covenant with Naomi, she even told Naomi that her people would be her people. God had a covenant with Noah because Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked with God. These people made a commitment with someone and kept it until the death of one or the other, now isn't that what you said in your marriage vows? If you are married you need to stick with your commitment and God will without a doubt stick to His (wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder) Matthew 19:6. Which means you should not end it yourself, and since you should not end your marriage you need work to save it.

If you want to make a difference in your marriage, ask your mate what they need from you in order to be happy and in turn you let them know what they can do to make you happy. It is known that everyone shows love in many different ways, the way that you show love may not be the way your spouse needs to receive love and vise versa. Let's shine a little light on this. If a wife wants her husband to show her love by fixing things around the house or washing the car, the husband should respond by doing those things no questions asked, likewise if a husband want his wife to show him love cooking or just encouraging him the wife should respond with no questions asked. You should perform the love language that your spouse is speaking, not what you are speaking. Your spouse should speak the love language you are speaking.

Learn the love language of your spouse by learning what is most important to your spouse. Ask yourself what does my spouse mostly desire from me? What is the one thing or things that my spouse complains about that I am not doing or that I could do more of? Observe what your spouses reaction is when you do certain things. My spouse and I had to learn this concept to truly satisfy one another and it was a very pleasing experience. Now here are the Five Love Languages and we ask that you and your spouse start by prioritizing them in order from the most important to the least important to each of you individually and then work on fulfilling them on a daily basis:
  • Words of affirmation
  • Quality time
  • Gifts
  • Acts of service
  • Physical touch
Once you have tried this for a period of time, reevaluate yourself and your marriage to see if there is a harmonious difference in your marriage. Extramarital affairs happen when needs are not met and when a covenant is broken. Meet the needs of your spouse and keep your covenant.