Making your Marriage a Priority

Written by Carl & Yolanda Bennett
darkfamily_500A successful marriage is not happenstance. It requires serious commitment and hard work. Most marriages start on a high note. The emotion of the wedding day, the physical high of a loving, willing and regular sex partner and the comfort of someone at home who cares for you. Then life happens, the world pushes in on the dream.
Reality has a way of waking us up and quite often, abruptly. If you are unaware of the pressures you may find yourself starting to lose your grasp on one of your most important relationships. The following are just a small list of things that can put stress on your marital relationship. Some of them take up time that was previously for the couple, time that was used to create intimacy:
  • Babies
  • Mortgages
  • Jobs
  • Education
  • llness
  • Career
  • Finances
  • In-laws
  • Moves
As a marriage counselor, one of the most common complaints we hear is "I don't think I'm in love with my spouse anymore. I think I still love them but I don't feel anything else." What is basically happening here is that there is not an emotional connection.

In dealing with these complaints I find the problem starts when the couple begins to take each other for granted. There is no communication about individual needs, desires and wants. The man finds the wife unavailable for sex and she is often cold and uncooperative. A wife's response to that is she feels her husband just wants her to perform on demand.
Couples often say that their break up was sudden and unexpected. But in truth, the end started years before, when communication stopped, when you stopped doing little things for each other. When you began letting "life" overpower "living" and believing that other things are more important than each other. And when you felt that could not see any way to get through the tough times.  Words from the wise, if you continue ignoring your spouse, just know you are on a sure path to losing your relationship.

At all cost you should avoid the obvious signs of insensitivity such as ignoring, belittling, and putting others before your spouse, this type of action tells them that they really mean nothing to you. Have you ever heard the saying, actions speak louder than words? Eventually if these things are not dealt with in a positive way, a once good marriage can quickly become a dreadful union.

Here's a simple solution, be all the things for your spouse that you want them to be for you. Husband, love your wife as Christ loves the church. Wife, be submissive unto your husband as unto the Lord. Be the best person you can be for your partner. Live the golden rule; do unto others as you would have them do unto you. But most important of all is to talk and listen with your heart. Make sure that nothing ever comes between the love you share for each other. Remember that your spouse is number one in your life and it's your responsibility to keep them there. Work constantly on your relationship; make it better, more fun, more emotional, resolve the issues and everyday problems. Talk, talk, talk and Do, do, do.